i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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