there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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