i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Houston, we have a blender
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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