I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
