Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
