Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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