hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
