My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
