Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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