My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
