The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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