and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
