First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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