I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
