he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
