Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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