your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
