so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
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