I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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