Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
