He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
