found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
