So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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