Your tits are I can't wait for
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
