I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
