i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
