before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
