my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
did you just send me my own nude
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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