just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
