Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i believe in u and ur pee
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
