I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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