I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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