I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
