I'm drive I can fine osifer
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
