so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize