She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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