physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
