You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
