spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The adults are the big ones right?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
