no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
