I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
