idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
