WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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