There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
