i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
