the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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