I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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