her vagina looked like bernie madoff
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I party with great urgency now.
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