I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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