Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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