high people should be assigned attendants
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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