He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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